6/11/12

Pressed against soft tickled tender touches,
That sickle scythe tone rakes my flesh,
Crying hysterically inside my cold heart,
To her a refractory response rests beside,
Look into that mirror dear once beloved,
See what might find you there in thought,

"Hear O deer,
one to rear,
pleasure no fear,
you lost sheep"

Said the sloth faced introspective zealot,
Wincing and wading through turmoil,
And slithering face down through slick mud,
Over obsidian shards changing the face,
Scars skitter on top of the flesh and thud,
Personality? Character? What is that in life,

"Get the fuck up you lazy mother fucker!, Who told you it was time for rest?, Who said you deserved the smallest semblance of comfort?, Or the gentle love of a flowery femme fatale?

To master the masculine art of musk,
The resolution to which must make men,
Mutton for meals masks the pain marked,
March on young man for mastication,
It does make for a fat boy mutilated,
Self critic masochistic mode forms molds. 

This week so far

This week I have been trying a new diet which is meant to detoxify my body and my mind.  I have been eating only rice, eggs, and a multivitamin.  I have been drinking only water and tea. I started doing stretches morning and night, and swimming when my schedule allows.  I have also been working 11 hours 3 days a week and 7.5 hours the other 2 days.  I have been taking bathes at night and reading "Beyond the Limits of Thought" by Graham Priest while bathing.  I have also been trying to remain centered and focused for as much of my work day as I can.  Just before I sleep I get into a meditative state by being mindful of my my breathing.  Every night I have woken up between 2:29 a.m. and 2:34 a.m. because of the interruption of this meditative state.  I will continue this lifestyle for at least the rest of the week as best I can.

I have been feeling much calmer than usual.  Last night I gave good insights into an issue between one of my supervisors and another employee.  I felt a noticeable difference in the thickness of the fat on my midsection, which is very likely due to the low caloric intake I have had this week.  Meditative state is easier for me to attain that it has been in the past weeks, and I feel well rested when I wake up in the middle of the night.  I still sleep the rest of the night though because I like the extra rest.  I have also been able to observe the beauty of the world more easily this week.  I look forward to any more benefits that this change in lifestyle may bring to me, and I won't be disappointed if the benefits stay as they are.  I feel much better physically that I have in a while and more centered than ever in my life.

Peace,
ShaneWolff

6/5/12

Simplicity mine,
Just rice and eggs in my fridge,
Two blankets to sleep


Wrecked and raked is she,
Mutilated from past love,
Will I love again


Punishment warm pain,
Trees and grass still grow in time,
But with blood red leaves

On Calmness

My meditation ends gently,
Unable to move limbs,
Pulsating heart pumps,
Thick unforgiven blood,
The breath unforgiving,
Vibrations of my soul,
Rhythm with heart and lung,
Calmness, a cold mans game,
But the antithesis a,
Mistress who anticipates,
This blackened charcoal board eats away at the core like a termite about to bore through soul that I tore!
And the door,
Seeking that calmness,
Grows cold as my home in December.

Haiku attempt 1

My dear desert friend,
How's love truly a fiend's game,
When words are lost, love.


Dream of our lives now,
Dreariness consumes it all,
This must end gently.


Winter my mistress,
Why did you not stay so long,
I miss your cold winds.


People walking tall,
Living with fear at their core,
Why'd you live at all.


The heart screams cold blood,
The mind paddles through the flood,
Soul flowering bud.

5/30/2012

Clarity. focused, pure clarity.
The truth, the good, what's right.
How can clarity bring such pain,
Driven down to spring from vein,
Alas I never had a true claim,
So I must severe this poison reign,

Clarity. vain, cliche clarity.
Suspect of truth and righteousness.
Whetted for a real chance again,
This cozen dilemma chosen zen,
Disrupted the track taken then,
 And I find myself viewing another when,

5/9/12

What if the world you have built is forced,
And the pearl you have protected is gone,
It's reality that can't be endorsed,
That brings suffering and pain each dawn.
 What if your cries are not heard by lambs,
And your world can't be accepted for all,
You press on best you can but miss exams,
Those cries will cause your world to fall, again.
 Now what if you had the chance to leave,
To feel nothing and escape with all limbs,
That forced world would fall beyond retrieve,
And soul for days would sing in hymns, again.