Marq3

I am a sacrificial lamb, stuck deep inside an unforgiving torrent of an emotionally self inflicted violence, it sucks me into the clutches of a murderous thought, that i, myself as a person, might love again some day. Thoughts of a society of semi decent judgement just never comes to pass, all glowing in a selfish desire of the next guy that wants to fuck your brains out. Why must the strong individual suffer, why must the timid bleed tears of infinite pain. As i sit alone, in a cold shadowed room, i find myself unable to cry at all, though in a past time, real tears would have come to stay. i bring this upon myself with my lack of confidence, self esteem and brutally weak social skills. these thoughts of fitting in are just smoky dreams, ones that are enticing but just never include reality. the thoughts are not comforting, nor periodic in nature, but random and fanciful. how do i end this pain, how do i control the urges, why do i fail in all things i wish to succeed in, including but not limited too, school, women, friends, being a brother, being a son, a grandson and whatever else there is to fail at. So now the tears start. fuck depression, no self esteem or confidence. how do i fix myself, how do i grow into the man i must become. Seeing how hard my road has been so far, the end product better fucking be worth it