Marq2.6

Sunk deep inside I hide feelings of fear
That I am not enough.
Banished to be alone all of my days
Down the vortex swirling
I become fluid and loose
Twisted and contorted
Until I smash into the depth
Surrounded in darkness, but aware of where I've been
A puddle on the ground
Life breathes into me
Tapping to a new rhythm
My animal form takes a crab
Mathematical in nature, but lacking
Morph me into an octopus
Its more malleable this way
My form makes a basin
From which feet arise
Out of the water her form emerges
Stuck at the end
Meditation to release
Glowing bright in focus
Once complete we dance naked
A romantic embrace

Marq2.5

On a cold cold day
With a slightly hung over
Thread around my wrist
And walkin down the street
In a comfort handle
Pressure on my ears
To get past this tangle
Struggle through indifference

Bare foot noodle cook
On a new path alone
Smoking a cigarette traveling
Straggle around a social
Drift on past a dream

Blackjack memories
Sink it deep inside
A new position never tried
Boots on my feet
On a sidewalk mission

Marq2.4

My mixolydian difference
Impossible with deciphering
Balance the offset
With the tonal matchings
Colliding intravenously
With a metaphoric anxiety
Chemical changes internally
Chant my needs on this
Compared to the Dorian
I used to be.

Marq2.3

Turn me fluid
Melt my existence
Slosh me around
Like second offence
Torque me in tubes
Address my viscosity
Experiment for knowledge
Testing my properties
Separate me into viles
Allow parts to be solid
Pour those into piles
But pull and twist
By words and fist
To pry away my needs
I am the fruit
Of your explorations
Ponderings of internal self
And left with emptiness

Marq2.2

When I look into your pristine eyes
I dive into yourself
Losing all that is cruel in me
All bitterness and distraught
Cleansing me
Leave me no choice but to be happy
Those beautiful blue topaz eyes
Melting my heart to forgive all pains
Bringing me up and close to you
They invite me in when they look at me
I dare not accept for fear of losing
I actually am unable to accept
Because I'm so drawn to you
And when I cause you pain
Your eyes show me your truth
Every time I see this, it burns me deeply
I wish never to hurt you
For I never want to see you cry
So dry your eyes and share with me
The pain you feel and what you need
I'm here for you and your eyes
Indulge with me the potential we share
And enjoy just being together

Marq2.1

Rampant and exciting current exchange
Presses softly against my frail frame
Submerge my voice upon this stable
Unwrite my choice when its able
Drifting fluidly through existence
Pretend I gave and honorable resistance
Close me up, ignore my emotion
Rape my will and warp this devotion

Her tears are flowing
She hears my story
The tears cut me deep
And so my heart shall weep.

Marq2.0

It's all the rage
Fastened slightly to the right
Sticks to the soul with ferocity
Riding this wave of fluxing anger
An abnormal impulse towards the crimson
A tension of temptation that sings
Restless in evacuation but still engraved
Upon my childish forms carved deep
Core anxiety mixed with immolation
Cut me deeply with things you do
Until I feel the molting once again
Peeling off my external feelings in sheets
From the base of my skull down
Tear it off in disgust
Its unfitting of my stature
But it burns so good at true internal
Feeling it in my veins, circulatory system
Bilateral dissipation for instance
Darkness kneels before this feeling
But still I am left frustrated emotionally
Taken at face value, what do you really need
A civil war of the person?
Destruction that leaves everyone hungry for more
I cry inside but face left dry
Betrayal, disappointment, drought
Flailing unconcentrated into something false
I simply fall

K3 (Swings)

There is a place to call home
A rusted decaying single chain swing
Grass tall and overlapping
I sit upon the seat of childhood
Memories wash upon like northern seas
Dreams of past times and tranquility
And feel the beast of anxiety crawling
Up my spine the shivers climb
Setting into my skull as if familiar
Then to observe from a pendulum view
Subtle variation bestowed upon white posts
Sudden relief in the sight of changing positions
Fluid is this life through child's eyes
I stop my motion to exchange maturity
What really is traded is my viscosity
Formability to molds or individualism
What connexion made to grant this final
A realization that depression is a longing
For change happens prior to fulfillment
Throughout ones self examined this need
Absolute greed for self and no other
Depression to grip leaves left no other
A disruption undone only through thought
The shift of the paradigm slowly allowed
All of this revealed by a swing
An observation of my past delight
And how it appears to be vacant
For normalicy is driven from me
Power and knowledge given in passing
Gives me the strength to be hopeful
Swaying gently with life's breeze
Being totally happy with each movement
Free to observe beauty in all things
All it takes is one step at a time

K2 (Moon Drippings (Many Months))

Beneath the semi solid moon drippings
Sings I, songs of flight for thee
Circular at first, centrifugal nature
Unworthy is I, so tis dropped twice over
Trust of yours matches equal and opposite
Leaving me longing for your touch
Plagued and distraught I sink deeper
Then to follow is destructive but
For straying grants my wishes
This steady dance of role reversal
No longer just as by compass you see
Unpredictable but comforting as one
When finally prepared and ready
The famine of summer months dawns
Wispy dreams are lost in the breeze
Standing solitary I lust for your presence
Hair of a glowing amber glistening
Eyes as clear blue topaz at pinnacle
Above all your gorgeousness what I lack
How we are as one, alone I cry
For you to understand how I feel for you
Tears fall and transfigure into solid moon drippings

K1

I sit atop this peak of yearning
My heart, stagnant for others, but you, burning
Count the hours until I see your smiles
Distance is far too far by 249.2 miles
This is too much depth for I to stand
Even across a beautiful and scenic land
249.2 miles I journey to see my lover
But its always 249.2 miles to long to cover
I need you by my side all of my days
Ache for your touch within this haze
And still my love burns for only you
When we speak I know yours burns true
Although this vast distance provides trials
I wish only to be with my woman of 249.2 miles

Marq11

I am just a shell of the man I wish I could be. Damaged and defiled. Not even a shell, a shadow of the shell of what I wish I was. It seems that I mess up in every aspect of my life and that really is a killer of self esteem. This circular viciousness has no end accept for death. Seeing as I am unwilling and unable to kill myself, I must live in pain and suffer for what I have done in a past life. These dry tears that I cannot cry are a symbol of the pain that I have caused and received. The only tears I feel really can comfort me are those cried in blood. I haven't felt normal for the past few days now and I'm starting to get worried. Worried because my normal feeling is severe depression and anxiety, now I feel these even more so and on top of that I feel like I'm only viewing life through a haze of pseudo feelings. I have almost lost my entire sex drive. The only person who reverses that for me I feel doesn't even find me attractive. I try so hard to make her happy, to help her not be stressed out, to give her anything she needs, but the physical connexion doesn't come. What would anyone have me do in this situation. Sometimes I feel like I give the whole of myself to things in my life and end up disappointed or rejected. I am just another person that you pass on the sidewalks of the city you wish you could escape. A nobody. Until you look into my eyes and see the pain I feel. It makes you reexamine how you feel about your life and gives you a positive perspective. Only problem is that the only other person that ever helped me in that way now goes to school over four hours away and I miss him almost every day. I wish I wasn't a shadow of a shell of a human. The only thing I have to live for is my family. I have no beast companions, hardly a serious attempt at a life partner, and almost every friend I've made in the last year would find it painful to even have lunch with me, regardless if it would make my day or not. So I drink to you and your happiness. May you live forever in bliss without having to see the pain of those around you. Don't even dare have pity on people like me or do stupid awareness days because honestly that makes me feel even more shitty that normal.

Marq10

Standing alone at night, darkness gripping
It rains, torrential
Naked and abandon even by rejexion
A building at my back
Standard building, nothing special
Dirt road at my ventral
Each drop that falls
It eats at the earth
Displacing her
Seems like slow motion drops
I look right, nothing
Feel chills run up my mortal spine
Look left
Eight feet and six and one quarter inches away
Floating in its cloak
One fluorescent yellow eye glows off center
No limbs visible
Probably because the moon has forsaken
I turn to it
Opens the cloak slow and drops it off
The creature had a scythe faced rodent style
Torso close to human
But rotting limbs
The legs looked more bovine than anything
One of the rodent ears was cut circularly
The beast telepathically spoke to me
This is what it sayd,
"All your life you have been exiled by most, these days are over. You have been chosen. Chosen!"
With that he was gone
I am left alone
Naked and abandon even by rejection
Forsaken by the moon no more
And the rain had stopped

Marq9

Lucid day walking dreams of the semi comfortable
Trip through my liquefied existing mind
Plasmic tears on an underdeveloped
Melts the face right off you slowly
Its iridescent in respect to metamorphical
Or physical implications of modernity
Maternity of this horrific main stream culture
Hash burn scar trickles down her face
As if the simple H2O was its leader
Do you know how I mean? Truth
Erratic functions of surface area and time
Differentiated on the assumed basic ground
Trembling as I sip on the Fufu Jones
After feels like I was released from my chrysalis
Stepping out with my ladder legs
And my spider wing forearms glistening bright
The wings imprinted with a psycotropic
Four dimensional chromatephore Iris eye
Yellow whites and an inverse triangle pupil
The insignia of an unchosen path
Vivid day walking dreams of the presemicomfortable

Marq8

How does anything happen?
To what point does it exist?
Does existence mean to feel
Or to sense possible surroundings
Judge the depth of the perception
Rocking the fiber of it all
Who is real and who disappears
Is temptation the desire for existence?
The need to feel alive
What does it mean to be alive
And who decides this answer
Why feel pain?
Just to put pleasure into perspective?
That's a sad excuse for suffering
Why has reality never evaporated?
Finally had enough and just left?
Who decided reality was even real?
This planet is backward

Marq7

Sitting in the mist of city population
Alone and stark plumages
I feel the slow drippings
Of the love I have left inside
Going unabsorbed because of internal doubt
This is a genocide of my heart
I wish I wasn't here.
I wish I could evaporate
And rain down where winds go
But I'm left in this unidimensional
Shivering in medium heat,
But overheated in freezing
When I close my eyes next to her
My mind burrows into her soul
Deeply and questioning, how deep?
All it sees is bottomlessness
This is comforting to a degree
And really troubling in another

Marq6

A momentary relapse
Of sudden unproportional
Slipping deep to dreams of you
Dream the dream of epidermal
Sickening the intensions of pure
Distraught in distinguishing
Intensions of deprivation
All of a sudden it hits you
Like Atlas drops the ball
She doesn't love you
Never has or will
So you vomit in disbelief
Even if you find truth

Marq5

The gentle blowing snowy wind
Tickles my lonely face
Cold but comforting
The flakes grip my skin
Holding on to me to melt
Because the flurries know
They are safe with me
Safe from the salt of earth
From the steps of man
And the carelessness
I welcome the refugees
Appreciate what they recognize
And try to find solidarity
The beauty of snowfalls
Each flake representing someone
When they melt, they die
But as they fall, they live
When my flake meets me
It falls onto a single tear
That is traveling down my chin
Dying before it is dead
But living through tears
Giving a different perception
Because the tear I cry
Is a tear for you

Marq4

Electric in fluorescent palpitation
Grip for something solid that is intangible
Anxiety is flourishing and unsettled
Slip inside an exotonic environment
And a truth may be released to you
In modern persecutions, sing of cause
But the stench of indignity prevails

Marq3

I am a sacrificial lamb, stuck deep inside an unforgiving torrent of an emotionally self inflicted violence, it sucks me into the clutches of a murderous thought, that i, myself as a person, might love again some day. Thoughts of a society of semi decent judgement just never comes to pass, all glowing in a selfish desire of the next guy that wants to fuck your brains out. Why must the strong individual suffer, why must the timid bleed tears of infinite pain. As i sit alone, in a cold shadowed room, i find myself unable to cry at all, though in a past time, real tears would have come to stay. i bring this upon myself with my lack of confidence, self esteem and brutally weak social skills. these thoughts of fitting in are just smoky dreams, ones that are enticing but just never include reality. the thoughts are not comforting, nor periodic in nature, but random and fanciful. how do i end this pain, how do i control the urges, why do i fail in all things i wish to succeed in, including but not limited too, school, women, friends, being a brother, being a son, a grandson and whatever else there is to fail at. So now the tears start. fuck depression, no self esteem or confidence. how do i fix myself, how do i grow into the man i must become. Seeing how hard my road has been so far, the end product better fucking be worth it

Marq2

Positive conduxion
Mixed with supple condensation
Proving metaphysical means
Suing a gentle fiend
She weeps inside briefly
But sinks in its roots
To the original fluxuation
Socializing but a burden by itself
Trip inside the paper alone
But compilations of dividends
Pursue a simplistic aristocratic
Dreaming of a modern integrity
Weakened by its emotional weight
Cracking intentionally by self loathing

Empty Fear

The vibrance of a subtle motivation
Geometric in measurement but fluid
Human like in shape but hollow
Empty internally found at points
Meridians of self inflicted violence
Glimmering of life, a hunger draws
Verbally delicious but in connexion
Bland and procrastinating fervor
Tidy but filthy, just but holds a grudge
Catastrophic interpretations of metaphorical
Creates a singularity of thought
Drawn into the mosaic of integrity
Subsequently desired, dry and cold
A temptation of sorts, still
Quench the desire of sticky perspiration
Then use the malleability for a fit
Raging on pure emotion, vile intentions
He cries out in despiration of another
Calm and intense, a paradox of humanity
Its all in fear, fear of loneliness
Fear of self destruxion , self interpretation

W091005

Find myself sitting on the horn of existence
Clambering in discomfort for mild desire
And strumming of heartstring in the general
Accordance of longitudinal implications
Crossing the meridians of my whole belief
Its so deep that light not reach
Hits that point and submerges another multiple
These elastic fiber hold it all together
Drops of purity storming onto pathetic
Disdain is rampant and fragile within
Along with delicate beats of a lamenting heart
Stripped soul of confidence without a reason
Calm and collected clash with strong and protected
Interchangeable with each other in existence
Totally harmonious bones that elect the proper
That asks the important questions in death
Is it really melting to combine nor solidifying
Crashing mind blocks crumble for tranquility
Passive aggression that proves a simple point
Fading in and out of what matters instead
Concentrate humbly and listen to that broken heart
Radioactive in love, perceive it as fertile
Perhaps it is futile but me as impossible
Lick the beat of the colorful majestic
Minister the great, preach to the peach
Juggle the inflamible as if it was
And ride a tide of possible security

W091004

Orsted fiphel
Gruat uf Lefikt
Aintuub skiquzed
ktif Quik est
Zephi Pundent
Owne dye
Tekwithesp wiViL

W091003

Tell me just what you see
If you close your eyes
And think of us
Said the centipede to the
Insecurities built on respectable
Insurrexion of the nauseas
Centipede, your legs, the many
Grip them deep
When you stroll
Of gears on the sun
Massive, gears and insecurities
This doesn't make the sun respectible
She must earn such an honor
To own the respect of another
Regardless of past flares
Centipede, your legs, on titan gears
Printed on the Maxi-high label

W091002

And so it starts again
Lamenting pain, a blight of integrity
Whilst the impregnable glass slipper
Slithers majestically on this tangent
I feel no tempurature
Nor taste of flame
Bingles are to be at blame
Fucks you intentionally
Irrational in its final dispute
And it cuts o so deep
Crimps like chimps
Without the summer rain
Minor compliance compared to
Minotaur competence, lanced
Jingle jangle of this road
Desecrated to the light snow

W091001

Alone inside a sacred isolation
Gasping for a brief connexion
In his car with windows down
On a cold winters morn
Why must this torture occur
Blasting a phase of music
A turn, gazing at someone
Its as close as he comes
Windows tinted, blocks sight
Being so cold, but immune to it
Penance for past wrong doings
The cold wind forgives him
Yet he is alone, crying

MSOE 9

He goes on
Day by day
Flailing deeper
And deeper
And deeper
When it hits him
He knows it so
Crushing him
Deteriorating his will
Slicing on meridians
Segmenting the passion
But just as it is close
Something saves him
Repeating the process
Cutting more away
Time after time

MSOE 8

A single drop of blood
Escape my skin in relief
Release this feeling of life
Where pain means existence
And depression a constant
Developing into a pool
A completeness is erupted
Only to be eroded again
Dizziness comes forth
And takes its seat
As king of emotions
A single drop of tear

MSOE 7

When you are caught in transition
A freedom of heavenly proportions
As a meridian of my former self
These things happen
Transfixed in disillusions he stalks it ever so slightly
In a permanent psychedelic feature
The rotational bowed triangular eye
Representing something unbreakable
A brotherhood of unmistakables being so dear to my own heart
It brings on the white fuzzies
They float around in no direction
Compelling all to their way of life
Delayed reactionary majestic in self improvement
Spastic disbelief of the counter to their reality

MSOE 6

In double vision
I see the particles
Particularly in moving
A shimmering heat
Of a moment past
And if I watch
For ooo so long
I just might dream
Or perhaps see it grow
Its a spectacular spectacle
Epidemic in perspective
But some how seems right
A gristle of glimmering
Sweetness like no other
Shaking I spell my thoughts
In a place familiar
Not in a family sense
More of a dejevu
Still
Things do melt
If left to stare at
Always a piece of chalk
Left, used, and left again
Parallel is I
Two of us together
Defiant but incapable

MSOE 5

As slithered faced as I am
I press froth indefinitely
Engaging in cryptical bologna
Froth right righteousness
Exquisite in transition
O yes, yes it sees inside
Dripping with disdain
But overall dainty
Its as if a trail is
Walked with foresight
And forgotten after travel
String connects us all
Era after error, parched
For something of real
Distasteful in haste
She sings it
But does she mean it
Crumbling in anticipation
My spectator cries.

MSOE 4

Wind blows in my face
But my face leaks
It is impossible to tell
If it is the winds fault
That this tear falls
Or if it is someone else

To other people here
It would appear, it you
But I convince myself
That it is indeed the wind

But this is unfair
Why blame the wind

For what you have done
It would only be fair
That this tear I shed
Be on your heart

This cool breeze
Continues to remind me
Of the sadness you made
On the flank of my heart
The soft of my soul
Don't blame yourself

MSOE 3

Tangled inside of a self infliction
She trembles as if a rash addiction
Spilling a bubbling liquid
From her intangible motor vehicle
That she calls her pathetic brain

Her hair, purple and straggly
It drifts in its own personality
Encompassing a good impression
And releasing no emission

Soft is her face, delicate
A menial task that must be done
With eyes of amber, shimmering
And thin lips that seek intimidation

Purposefully they expose her
The phantom of impersonality
Scandalous on top of transverse
But it glows warmly, hardly matters

Simply thinking of a realistic
Disappearance is of normal
Sinking quick into the vortex
Of something that is but is not

I believe this one truth of all
That your freedom is essential
Because if your free in real time
You do not need control

MSOE 2

In a retrospective perspiration
Clicking quick in vast precision
A dream of integrity spills profuse decision
Sitting alone with precious preconfession
Throwing in democratic slight persuasion
Corrupted individuals of self gratification
Deciding their vector on a change of motion
Decaying eternally, a refined inspection
Plastified souls that drift in mild torsion
With a cause that requires ridiculous devotion
Some tumble introspectively depending on self combustion
Imagining a gradient soft in collision
He packs his pack in determination
It drips simply, deep in promotion
From a wound that decided in spastic incision
Created only from the flesh of division
Speaking in whole to a mass population
But degrading the masochistic relation
Seeing instantly from internal revelation
Boosting self esteem from outside position

MSOE 1

I feel hope
This sense of
Solid accomplishment
Its filling and wholesome

As I peel
Away what I once was
To step into a new era
And for once
Actually be happy

I hope so deeply
That this is honest
Feeling it grip me daily
It just feels right

Dripping with
What I assume to be
Truth, trust and chemistry
Unconditionally I follow
And give myself again

Past has shown
This is idiotic
But once more
Must I trust wholly

Proximally

Gentle melodic movements
Dripping in passion
I drink it in
And breathe a sigh of relief

Perhaps, just perhaps

How is it that immediately
She has the power
To be in my dreams
I can tell that
This is different than past

Still I daydream
And wish to read her
When can I see you again?
I wish to very proximally

She is but a stream
Strong and deep
Yet I have just stepped in
Gotten the toes wet
In the warmth of this

Deep Scar

What do you do
When your world
Suddenly turns to fire
Engulfed in hate
And sick with disgust

Do you continue
Do you flail yourself
Or do you just ignore?

How do I pass
By re-cutting
Emotional wounds
Over and over again
Until I do not feel
Do not even wince

Blocking pain simply
With the art of song
A deadly thirst
For a melody of pure
Immerse myself
First in hotter fire
Then in the love
Of a familiar sound

Do I dream of life
Yes, without pain?
I wish I could
But who would I be
With no shape
Nor form of hurt

Trying to rationalize
This unfathomable pain
Just isn't working

But I must push on
Live and let live
Happy or unhappy
For hopes of future

Freedom of Love

The freedom and liberty
It gushes with every minute
Freedom from incarceration

Suddenly a similar pattern
It erupts lightly at first
But then evolves into more
I sense nothing of worth
And know I should pass
But my desperation
It lingers so slightly


I wish no harm to anyone
But either way feelings hurt
So a classic dilemma
Eroded from years past
Do I proceed knowingly
Or save this one the pain
Of feeling my love
And loosing it
Without really owning it

And do I even want to
Forward with effort?
Draining on my soul

But kisses I long for
They never come

The beauty of this all
I have the freedom
To truly think this over
With no interruptions
Nothing to lose the groove
To disrupt my vibe
And perhaps, just maybe
I will make the correct
And save pain
Or save love
I love freedom

Myself

I, myself
A bender of word
Planner of indulgence
Into the mystical genius
Of the subconscious creativity
It flows through my body
With elegance so pure
And cryptic to all
But myself

U.H. 3

In the final moment
Will you regret your acts
Pass on your desires
And drift into insanity
Lick your lips at last
For at the end you'll die
Perspirate and vomit your truth
As painfully simple as possible
Drown yourself in self pity
Feel every ounce of my pain
And suffer in your loss
Then you will be forgiven

U.H. 2

Blinding pain from past transgressions
Paves the way for new obsessions
Taking a hint from this suggestion
To burn inside from the name mention
Sick to my stomach

U.H. 1

The taste of a devious thought,
Dripping depression lyrics brought,
Colliding backward into nothing new,
The burning pain of the few,
Singing tretchery of the past,
Hoping eternally it shall not last

Daily Thoughts of the Past 3 Weeks

It in this new low point
This valley of sanity
Dripping profusely
With the fragile scent
Of post feminine scarring
That I find that
I have nothing left
Nothing worth fighting for
Or even moving slightly
All I have is time
To sit and perspire
This sickness from my
Already morphing skin
Waiting for a new hope
Patient but anxious

The drive is gone
Mortified of showing its face
Excommunicated from thought
But rebelling in small numbers
The sickness takes over
And crushes all
Proving no cure true
My dreams absurd
Fatality of reality
Sticking to malleability
And calamity of truth
That I pass no inspections

I wonder
If for just once
That I have a day
Where I feel no pain
No wrong passed my way
And wonder also
If someone can love me
Give me all I need
Nurse me back to health
And embrace the entirety

Boris

Swiftly it combs over itself
Nonexistent but totally introspective
Shivering with a drop of tears
A manifestation of heroic fear

To wipe clear the majority
A bonified confidence is destructible
Semi relative perspective
It drips with its own blood

Satisfied with the coming undone
But not with the undone coming
It turns a new shade of gray
With permission, a fantastic blade

Introverted, it cries a new song
One of desire and intangibility
An arsonist of the soul
Tearing it up in a fit of dissatisfaction

Possibly though, not dissatisfaction
But more knowledge of superior
Gripping onto what it knows as truth
It swells with the puss of negligence

For it you should cry
But if it does not show its face
You shall not recognize its deep pain
Less relief it of such feelings

When it is in a bubble, it sings
When it is in a house, it stings
When it is in a prison, it swings
And in a false connection, it continues

The simple beast means nothing
The Lone Warrior elevated
But if Boris does not
There will never be an anything

Razor's Edge

If put at razors edge
Why do I not cut
If tied to heavy block
Why do I not resist
And if set for heart broken
Why do I continually move in?

This phenomenon plagues my life
Incinerating all hope of true happiness
But recognized, can be stopped
Questioning of just how
As I age it clears
But quickly becomes muddy again

What I crave is a rare thing
My perfect match.
I doubt any exist
But I search nonstop
Perhaps I try too hard
But this is my normalcy
I just wish it were

Dawn and Dusk

The break of dawn
I rest my head
Soft and sweet
She caresses me softly
I hope to intertwine
Glimmering inside, politely
The torque of it all
The wringing out of my heart
Pressureous and precious
Its delicate infatuation
And passionate abbreviation
Torture me past annoyance
My soul wait for her
As if aged a thousand years
But firm and adequate
Shimmering like a pearl at dusk
My heart will rest
Hopefully and skillfully
With someone my depth

Dizzy

There's an intention
It withers in notification
Nervous in feeling
And dizzy to touch
Describe this aura
Unreal but overwhelming
Modification on perception
Of the distance believed

Mother Moon

What do you see
when you look at the moon
is it a symbol to be
or the midnights noon
A gentle floating body
silver shimmering rings
she dances unwillingly
but voice, loudly sings
Mother moon, mother moon
beware the four fingers
they grasp way too soon
refusing your light lingers
Mother moon your heeded
the fingers from beyond
enjoy your last stand
your brightness is fond
What do I believe
when I look at the moon
I believe in my future
to have not reached noon

Kill It

I wish to dig
Deep inside my flesh
Find my source
Of all that pains me
Kill it
Dig deep to feel
Rip and cut
Purely to entertain
And test my existance
I want to destroy
All my past pain
Focus on the future
Forget all bullshit
Seeping into new
I thrive in pain
Digging into flesh
Release past demons
Kill them
At least the pains
Abolish the negitivity
Heal myself
And coexist with her

Fuck It

Shining inside the drawer
I sing a song of melodic impossibility
Charmed and rancid
But totally convincing
Slowly spinning this ridiculousness
Chirpping with no instigation

I am but a tortured soul
Burning for the one who inspects
Cast aside for the reasons unknown
My release is so limited
Like a raindrop in the mouth of a whale
Sliding with no direct importance
Mostly imaginary
What I crave is a metaphor
Being what I really need

Grasping what little I retain
I tell myself that this is
And only can be
Intertwined in the mystery of majesty
Glimmers of desicration arise
Sickend, I build defences

My childish mind
Twice brutally raped
Cannot even understand how
The function of normality
Seeps into the souls of mortality
Drinking into the mental delinquency
Why do I even stand a chance
This life is far to complex

But inspite of these difficulties
Driving to continue and thrive
Sunk deep into my being
So courageously I stride on
Bent over for anyone to take advantage
Because that seems to be the trend
We will see how far that gets you
Or deep depending on your participation

I simply wish
To sing a new song
One of happiness and devotion
Normalicy and passion
Fearing that I deserve none of this
Drives me quite crazy
Elaborate in my inventions
Paranoid at the investigations
Who deserves to see who I am
Virtually noone, which scares me

Fuck it

With Her

All that I desire
Unattainable
For reason after excuse
That I not see her

Broken and abandon
I writhe in discomfort
Forcing it into spheres
I address them later

When I am with her
Though in pain
I forget all my rotten
And forgive through eyes

I hold nothing against
But cry when I cant
Because to be next to you
Is a luxury itself

When I'm not
I don't feel gradients
Nor pleasure anywhere
But I still have dreams

N.O. 3

I miss every second
Even the quiet
And wish to be with you
To drink you in
Completely and innocently
Drink you fully
Like morning dew
That freshness, crispness
My Helen of Sparta
Be with me

N.O. 2

Every passing moment
All my waking dreams
I extrude my thoughts
And they have consistencies

She fills my entirety
As I long for her
Crying to see her smile
Lashing out because
I know no other way

Wishing I could still feel her
Her kiss the only impression
I miss her already

N.O. 1

My plasmic skin
Its frictionless
Slimy and adolescent
But from within
Cool and crystalline

I'm choked by environment
And prone to attention
With a rotational symmetry
Not unlike time spent

I hear the crow cry
This startles nothing
But while below sea level
Beware of fellow deceit

Let it

When you get the chance
To let your heart overflow
Let it

When you feel the moment
About to explode
Let it

When you feel the love
And it wants to grow
Let it

Unnoticed

I'm starving
For her touch
A sign of passion
Even a reciprocal of mine
I feel alone
Lost, meandering
A cold harsh world
Knowing potential
This makes me cry
Steals my sleep
And carves into
My already bleeding heart

Just how the simplistic
Can bring me to tear

I search for the companionship
It glimmers within her
Unpolished and unrefined
Unnoticed and oblivious

I struggle to not drown
While she is the fisherman
On calm seas she casts
Catching only to subsist us
And I, I pick every bone
Searching for every hour

Triangular

When I cant have her
To hold in my arms
Its as if betrayed
Simply because of preference

I feel a rising
Balance of sun and moon
Triangular in irregularity
Impressively disabling myself

But when I have her
Every transgression forgive
Regardless of actual apologies
I know exactly why

Her crystalline eyes, pure
They captivate me as a whole
Forcing my words to stumble
And my logic to disassemble

In the passion developing
I see truth and knowledge
Burning for just her
I dive from certainty

Self__

At what state
Does it feel surreal

The state of total devotion
With negative reprocussion

When I know that
There is so much

Yet the input is equivalent
My winnings microscopic

Canceled scheduling
In several ways

This burns me
Disintegrated willingness

Yet when I turn cold
I see positivity

Put under scrutiny
Is this selfish or selfless

Hypothermic

Your warm embrace
It keeps me moving
Whenever I'm away
I am hypothermic

Retreated inspite
Others around
Only you can
Release me

Even when you do
I am nephric in thought
A binomial filter
Often nervous

My Own Breath

An eliptical behavior
Treasured as purity
Vanity creeps...
This cowardice
Not honor
Not bravery

The sandtrap,
Decrepit,
Of pasts her
Desecrated me
Interupted normalicy

Now, reset, I move
Approaching carefully
The unfamiliar familiarities
Stepping past, I see
My total ignorance
Lodged deep, tumorous
I crave truth
And seek my own breath

Emptiness

I find myself
Unaffected
By temperature

I am scared
That I dont exist
Moreover

That I have
No purpose to exist
Save me.

I want to live
Have purpose
A drive to succeed

I need love
I am lost without

Temperatures
Feel all the same
What do I feel?

Emptiness

Helen of Sparta 2

An uncontrollable smile
Hints of shyness
Bliss of iminate
And I dream of her

My Helen of Sparta
She penetrates my thoughts
And my respect for her
It grows parallel

Timidly she responds
For her experience
Incomplete to mine
But desireable

Those dreams of mine
Realized soon I hope
Until the time comes
I patiently wait

The forte of love
Pronounced definatly
she touches my life
And fills it with

Corrupt Smoke

I see similarity
Between rising smoke
And corruption

Light the inscence
Let it sit
Observe the motion
The fluidity
How it pools
en masse
At a ceiling
Dancing wildly
Traveling straight
Upwards
Bending only high
The occational
Decomposition of the middle
Which destroys the top
Collapsing into itself

If you now
Would breathe into
The base
It destroys the integrity.
And stability
Only time restores
Only to be destroyed again

Employed

The passions played
For hours on end
A delicate dance
Not to defend

Nervous and wretched
I fear my stance
Stagnant and longing
I take my chance

This feels original
Like none before her
Bliss of premier
Nothing I’ve been so sure

Our lips meet
I am escalated
I am transported
I am appreciated

I travel to a different world
By her tender touch
Secluded with her
It’s never too much

When we travel
It is an instant connection
One of total bliss
It grows in direction

We dance together
Slow at first
Spirits begin fusion
For her I thirst

The moment completes
And I follow responsibility
As she is unexpectant
Of my mass virility

Passing to my home
I am overjoyed
To have finally danced
Love becomes employed

Helen of Sparta

You are Helen of Sparta
With beauty overflowing
And I
I am Paris
Romantic philosophy
And a lover

Open your heart Helen
You, inspector, open
Lets indulge emotionally
With trust, honesty and love

Every chance I get
I see you mentally
Each time
A feeling becomes me
Deepness and hopeful

We shall be as one
Until we become one
I swear my heart to you
Now, Helen, you must mirror
Or my heart
Shall never love again

P3

A tempered motivation
Climbs inside itself
Budding, it flies
Like the swallows
Swallows of eclipse
Pressuring in analyticals
She seeps emotion
As if entranced
Enchanted with dignity
Overcoming forces
Wispy in originality
Drought in disparity
Rhythmic breath
Coursing in septum
Cursing itself
This motivation
Cries out aloud
"Release my anguish"
"Release or fatal consequence"

P2

I collide with mother nature
She greets me with solidarity
Her trees, why are there distinctions
The tree and I, brothers
Because the uncommon are superficial
We cannot be kin
I aspire to have this
Brotherhood, a common
The common of commons
Difficulties arise and its conflict
My new brother, he cries tears
Not tears of sap, but real tears
Validity of brotherhood confirmed

P1

My internal centrifuge
Sticks slightly
Its glue
Bulging intensely
I must obey
Flipping end over end
Mental promiscuity
A self pleasuring
Simply by lateral rotations
My center of gravity
Motion on this
Glass plain, reality
Rolling and smiling
Uncontrollable
I slide into trees
Colliding intravenously

Luxury Eyes

My future
I envision myself
Individual
Surrounded by loved ones
Freed from myself
And enjoying
Company of another
She fills my dreams
Transverses my thoughts
Journys to me

Her eyes, a luxury
They fill me with hope
Understanding that
My future will be bright
Coexisting with her
To yet have lips touch
Would normally pain me
But I feel no pain
Her luxury eyes banish it
And cleanse my soul

Artificially

Previous belief
Disintegrated wildly
Suddenly
A facade of love
Disproven thusly
It keeps me moving
Searching for another
Winding closely
Twisting violently
Curvature away
Because my attained knowledge
My discovery
Of past artificial
Dreams of true reality
Existence anew

Drop of Now

When everything becomes surreal
Sitting back I watch
Ghostly in analyzeation
But breaking for a solution
The plants around sprout anew
And I follow currents
They pull me around and twist
I bend at will, joyful
I find to be
Quite pent up
And a discouragement
Slithers throught my past
Surface calm and serene
My love burns deep within
If disheartened
I could pass emotionless
My call to you is this
Breath in deeply
Ask yourself
And live with an unforgettable dream
Carpe Diem

Observing

A whispy line
Congruent my health
Flowing and gentle
Drifting past my own
Fluidity of self
Intense but soft
Trace it in perspectives
The line wavers
Singing in motion
Perpetual distancing
Twisting in discomfort
My presence lingers
Forced osmosis, unhappy

Fraudulent Feeder

My forgiveness
Once fed
Apassionate cries
Having dealt with
I am scarred
A reconciliation
I have confronted
Completed
Without their knowledge
I am though
Forgetting just how
Things tend to trend
Borderline Personality Disorder
A sickness
Once or twice
Have I contracted
Interacted
And disassembled

Existance

Strategic existance
Forming pessimistic
Search for reality
In a sea of divinity
Moon dust screaches
A sun grows peaches
Served with severed
Souls of pleasured
A lysis of punctuality
Slips gently sober
Towards existance grower

Barrel Fingered Man

A barrel fingered man
Slipping on shadows
Sipping down existance
Pleasures himself
With coarse plastic tubing
He dreams of sunny days
And paddles backward
His presence uncomfortable
Shivering
Aquatically shimmies to fate
Drifting to absolutism
He cries intensly
Of the time escaped
To nibble his barrel fingers
Timidly approaching
Final completeness

Tranzition

Sometimes I cant push on
It takes everything
Just to take my breathe
I barely hang on because

This feeling takes control
Pushes me towards love
Superhuman expectation

I pass this disreguard
Always to the harder
But wish not so
Completely infatuated with you

This isnt to be forever
You can realize this

So I finish and fade
My superhuman perished
Only to revive quickly

Now I realize the truth
You never loved me
Never even cared for
So I close myself to pain

Relativity and all that
Questionable retaliation
But definate search conclusion
I found what I need

A Toxic

A toxic
Enveloping myself
Sickend by distraught
But strengthened altogether


An Epoxy
Sealing the truth
Far from intrusive
And silly with intention


My continuum
Vacuum of reality
Falsifying itself
Bitter in remorse


This plaster
Burdened alabaster
punishing my will
Chipping my skin


A granual
Insignificant lattis
Disintegrated solid
And fluid intangible


This tear
Unfortunatly followed
Ripening my face
Until my soul hollowed

CAEAE

I sit and watch you
Across this vast room
So beautiful are you

You set me free
And take away my past

I feel deep within
What complication has been
And situation, not sin

You set me free
And take away my past

I searched my whole life
For feeling like this
Perhaps to be my bliss

You set me free
And take away my past
For you, I give all of me
So finally it might last

Of Wind

The rivers wind
Breath of death
Racing between trees
Settling for nothing less
A crystalline titration
Metamorphical pin point
It breezes on
A catalyst of sorts
Devious and impervious
Knowing no exhaustion
Unrelenting vigor
Marvelous inspiration
Gentle fluctuations
Dreaming to be finished

Intangible Bands

I am absent
From this life
Perhaps even next
Intangible to every
Silence grips
Icy and shameful
Satisfaction slips
Forgiveness forsaken
To terms to past
I lean to future
Anticipatory
I clench with my claw
Where is my life
How did it become
Who is with me
Why am I some
What is becoming
I chase nothing
Disciplinary timing
Walrus in my gums
Salivating obtusely
Sickening my speech
I retain intangible
Slipping into peace

Unclear

Where am I going
A world ahead
Passivly churning
Around my head
My fate glowing
With what others said
Unclear to morning

Drop of Existance

I notice across
Simple workers
Scrambling to close
Ignorant to reality
And fallacy

Peons pass
Not aware of I
The forget
Perhaps I do too

A Gentle Demise

Wastefully
I sit here
Fridged air
Coarse on my skin
Trash is rampant
And I shiver

Each car goes by
No one sees me
Across from PT
And vendor of minor

Tingling, I observe
Adolescence meandering
Calmly I respond
Gentle sipping

I itch for new
Freshness unseen
As others
The falsness
Overwhelming
But soothing to kin
Because demise is rampant
And air unclean.

S.T.Y.

Potentially
You may see
Inside of me
To free
Yourself

Permitting none
Becoming one
Beaconing some
Only for fun
Flattening

Smiling I cry
Silently why
Fraudulent mask
Only to ferment
For my torment

I.C.

How small are we
Who bring
Simplistic statistics
Sadistic risking it
How tall are you
That ring
Catastrophic mosh pit
Endotrophic hissy fit
How shall I
Only sting
Metamorphic torque
Ambimorphic cork

Sidewalk2

If you seek
to fill vast voids
immerse yourself
exploringly
into preconceived
familiar engagements
reevaluate the understanding
entranced with discovery
graze on knowledge
and the simplicity
allow mental drift
to observe new possibilities
whether it brings you
to tears or laughter
learn to thrive
its for your betterment

Sidewalk1

You should focus on
the beauty of life
its important to sit
in wonder
and truely believe your life
is great
become thankful for it
and humble your thoughts
remove yourself
from current perspectives
relish in just breathing
your participation
in the brotherhood of man
is of the most importance
reflect on your actions
and live without regret
then and only then
will you be happy