How did I get here

I don't remember what I was doing here,
Sitting in a car with my sister and mother,
Pull from-I discover somethings wrong,
My sister, my dear sister, whats happened?
She is crying while I drive to her house,
That's not really her house, but we go in,
A conversation ensues and I find out abuse,
"He has beaten her!" My mother says,
Just as my brother-in-law walks inside,
But it doesn't really seem like him,
Something is off-she runs up the stairs,
Screaming, but I follow her all the same,
She leaps onto the bed, weeping she says,
"Nothings the matter, I deserved what I got"
I noticed that it wasn't her anymore,
And she is making small cuts on her torso,
Using a blade dulled from too much use,
I hold her down and prevent her cutting more,
Asking her what the hell she thinks she is doing,
She tries to lie but I see right through it,
In response to her lies I respond back in fluid,
"Don't give me that bullshit, I used to cut too"
Awe and shock overcome me and I let her go
We are the same person, but she was suppressed,
I have denied my emotions and with it her,
She dissolves into me and I am left alone,
The universe disappears into a white unknown,
And then, I woke up.

Judas of Expectation

He walks down the trenched sidewalks
Twirling his knives inside his head
Slashing out at whoever looks at
Duck faced pacing mind wanderings

This is his curse and blessing
A cliche in tandem with strife of life
Marvelous striped drippings sickly


I saw him twitch once, wonderful sight
The dress he bore, stripped, peculiar
He seemed anxious like a prey animal
Old soul and diseased, a prime target
Although seemingly aware, still weak
He drowned in his sleep dreaming awake
And sings of a time when things were simple
His posture was poor, degraded spine
Protruding scapulae and drinking wine
It seems like the drink gives him
That which he cannot grasp for sober

Inside my mind these things make sense
But to common onlooker, not worth pence
Judge me, enslave me, my mind is mine
Contained within it imagine all fine
Rape me brutally I'll still stand tall
Might of will can never truly fall